Journal

Daily Journal Summary – 26 May 2025

Lately, I’ve been feeling lost and directionless, especially in terms of my personal wellbeing. I’m struggling with poor diet, lack of sleep, and low discipline, but despite this, I find happiness and stability in my family life. I feel mentally foggy and overwhelmed—particularly with work stress, house renovations, and uncertainty about the future.

I’m grateful for my family, our home, and financial stability like owning our cars outright. Small moments like eating out as a family and time with Koa bring joy and perspective. I find deep appreciation for Eb, who continues to support me through everything.

My current habits feel unproductive: too much phone time, poor eating, and no exercise. I’m avoiding hard things—both physically and emotionally—and it’s affecting how I see myself. Work drains me, and I’m unsure how to climb out of this rut.

Success to me right now is time with family and working for myself. I want to feel more content in my choices over the next six months, especially around renovating our home and focusing on photography. I miss creative outlets like vlogging and shooting with studio lights, but motivation is low.

In relationships, I feel closest to Eb. I lack local friendships that align with my mindset, which can be isolating. Being a dad brings me pride and purpose—I want Koa to know I’m always there for him, even if I know I can do better.

How You're Doing Right Now

You're in a low emotional season, but you're not broken. You're self-aware, which is powerful. You’re grappling with overwhelm and a loss of identity outside of work—but beneath that is a deep desire for change, peace, and creativity. Your positivity comes through in small wins, gratitude, and your love for your family, even if the bigger picture feels messy.

Your happiness is dimmed, not absent. You're holding on to what's good (family, freedom, creativity), even if you feel stuck. You're not without hope—you’re just tired and worn out. And it’s okay to admit that.